Humans 2, Scorpions 0

When I got up this morning, I went into the bathroom. Something caught my eye. Something that was crawling along the edge of the wall in the hallway. I didn't have my glasses on, and I couldn't see exactly what it was. So I got as close as I could to try and make out what kind of bug it was. It was another scorpion! I instinctivly grabbed Sammi's shoe (near-by) and tenderized that scorpion (all of my shoes are kept in the closet, which it appeared he was trying to get into- unlike my wife's shoes, which are strewn about the apartment) until he was just another stain in the carpet.

Hear me now, all you scorpions: Lo, the blood of your bretheren lay upon my carpet. I am the instrument of the all-mighty God, and, if it pleases Him, will vanquish your kind. I am as pissed-off as that indian guy, Mogwa, in "Last of the Mohicans." I will not stop until I rip out your heart, and destroy your children so that you will know that your blood-line ends at my doorstep- or whatever room I annihilate you in, be it the bathroom, the kitchen, the study, the bedroom. Better yet, stay out of the bedroom altogether.

And I'll do it all with my wife's shoes.